Another sort of tapasya

Post by Bhakta Matus:

Since longer time i am struggeling with getting up early in the morning. Although i am concious about its great benefit in regard to the spiritual as well as material aspects of life, since longer time of trying i was not able to apply it in my life. Some time ago i proposed to myself: "From tomorrow i am getting up at 4 o'clock!" i failed, became humble. After some time i again tried with little more respect: "From tomorrow i am getting up at 5 o'clock!" i failed, became more humble. Then after some time i again tried: "From tomorrow i am getting up at least at 6 o'clock!" i did not manage to do that even. i became desperate. i thought to myself: "Am i so much in ignorance, fallen and undetermined?" i pondered again and again: "The only tapasya (penance) i have to take on myself in this Age of Kali is to wake up early in the morning, before sunrise, and chant the Holy Name of the Lord. This relatively small thing i am not able to do, then how can i hope to achieve success in my sadhana (spiritual practice). For how long will i have to struggle to somehow accomplish my fixed rounds of the mantra meditation during the day and in consequence of that to struggle also with accomplishment of my regural material duties?" i was praying to the Lord: "Oh my Lord, please somehow give me the inteligence and strength to be able to do it." So, yesterday, just like a miracle, a very promising idea appeared in my mind: "What about trying to 'pull the rope on its other end'? What about a more comfortable tapasya, which could grant me success? Yes! From tomorrow i am going at 9 o'clock to bed!" Today is the second day, and i managed to rise up to chant a great part of my rounds before sunrise, thus passing peacefully and blissfully the rest of the day. i am thinking to myself, how foolish i was not able to realize this most important tactics in order to be successful. i am also aware, that it is neither easy. It is actually indeed a sort of tapasya. Due to generally a bad habit of the whole association (who is going to sleep everyday at 9 o'clock?), one is alone in this effort. Thus i am hoping and praying to the Lord and all the Vaishnavas, that They may bless this fallen soul with enough strength, enthusiasm and determination to stick to its proposal and thus become successful. Nityananda! Gauranga! Hare Krishna!

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